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{Tuesday, May 31, 2005: }

Once again i am being rejected.. no surprise right cause i am those who like people easily. I often put in my one side love. I hate it... i think i really had enough of gals telling me that there are better one out there. Dun like me pls tell it straight to my face. I dun wan to keep guessing maybe i really lack of character but i really dunno how to put into action. I am what i am why can't jus someone; someone show me some love which i long for. Is it really tat hard to find one i dunno, jus when i tot i find the one and again it is once my one side love... i am really weak i not gonna find anymore i really wans to break down le there is no way i can take it anymore. Today i really could not hold back my tears. I ... i dun feel like slping but there is match in 12 hrs later... at this moment i hated myself why. why do i like people easily.. jus that day i scolded a gal who is similar to me and yet now i am in the same fate... i am a simple person all i hope for is jus one simple gal is that really hard... i am really very put down... i dunno if i can still get my smile back .... cause i dun think i wan to smile more i really feel very low i dunno if tml i can do my referee duty well and perform to my standard to my team.. but i really jus dunno why gal keep telling me i am gd and yet i am being rejected by them wat the hell.....why why must fate force me to play, i dun wish to play gal i really dun wan to. All i wan is a gal who cares about me and i care about her, it is that difficult!!!Why is fate doing this to me! people does not look for it and yet it look for them, i look for it and yet it turn me down. does fate have to be that cruel or am i meant to be alone.... i really cannot take it le....let me be a loser ba let be a spoiled guy, i wan to be a nth useful guy let me rot to hell....


the special one vbol 12:46 AM
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